Jersey Shore – Season 3 Episode 9 ‘Kissing Cousins’

Puppy love. Yeah. I made that joke.

Pauly wants a mini-motorbike and that is just adorable

I know my recap is a day late, but Canadian winters blow. That’s about all I can say about that. Anywho – from now on, Jersey Shore recaps will be posted on Fridays. If you’ve been waiting for my recap, sorry for the delay but you can blame it on Mother Nature and the snow she decided to dump on my little town. Alright, you ready for a recap? Here it goes.

Snooki gets it in

Snooki is lovin’ ’em and leavin’ ’em. After a little conversation about her sex life, she decides she wants to reconnect with her ‘perfect guy’, Nick. I love this girl. I know there’s a lot of talk on the show about who is ‘real’ and who is ‘fake’, but honestly, I think Snooki is about as real as it gets. She is who she is and isn’t afraid to talk about anything. That’s why I love her. Will Nick be Mr. Right? Probably not, but I guess we’ll have to stay tuned to see.

Deena is hungover. Anyone surprised?

From Snooki’s adventures in love or something like it, we are taken to Pauly who is busy trying to get Mike and Deena out of bed for work. He’s having a little trouble with that, but things don’t really go much better once they reach the t-shirt shop. Deena’s hung over and just not feeling the whole work thing. I’m sure that comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. Pauly and Mike decide to take their break and Deena tags along. She suggests extending their break to an hour and blaming it on her. That’s why I love that girl – never afraid to get in a little trouble to help her friends out.

Ronnie calls his Dad for advice

Back at the house, Ronnie calls his Dad to talk about life, I suppose. Ronnie wants to ‘fix things’ and feels he can’t do that in the house. He says he needs his Dad. Can I just say how much I love the more sensitive, but not completely pansy, side of Ronnie. He’s being a man about things, and I like that. Ronnie seems to still be debating whether or not to leave the Shore house and that sucks. Honestly, the house will be a lot less sexy without Ronnie around. I love Pauly. He’s gorgeous. Ronnie is the real drool inducer here though. What can I say, some ladies really love those bad boys.

The Concentration Situation

Checking in with Pauly, Mike and Deena we find that, surprise! They’re still at the boardwalk. They’re playing a game now to try to win Pauly a mini-motorcycle. I have been on one of those little buggers and have only one thing to say – totally worth it. After Mike spends a hundred dollars trying to ‘win’ the bike, he decides to just flat out buy it. When Pauly asks how they’re going to explain it to Danny (their boss), Mike simply says they’ll tell him that Mike bought Pauly a birthday present. Am I the only one that thinks Mike might have a little boy crush on Pauly? And before the comments start, I’m not implying Mike wants to jump his bones or anything like that. Men crushes are totally different than crushes. Look it up.

Pauly wants a mini-motorbike and that is just adorable

Here’s what I love about Pauly – aside from the fact that he’s gorgeous and has the kind of body I want to rub oil all over. He’s actually somewhat responsible and seems like a genuinely good guy. When Danny calls them on the fact that they’ve been gone for much longer than they should’ve been, he offers to stay an extra hour. Sure he sort of shrugs responsibility off onto Mike and Deena but really, it was more or less their fault. He honestly seemed concerned about getting fired although that probably has more to do with not wanting to get kicked out of the Shore house than it does with losing the job. I couldn’t be more excited to see his spin off show. He’s definitely one of my favorites.

A tender father and son moment

Heading back to the Shore house, we find Ronnie’s Dad has dropped everything to go see his son. He knows something’s wrong and wants to help. I think that’s a pretty awesome thing to see. It’s always nice to see a son respecting his father. He offers Ronnie some good advice and tells him to stick it out. Could it be that Ronnie’s Dad doesn’t feel Sam is right for his son? I freaking well hope so. Ronnie agrees to stay put and give it a chance to get better. Let’s see how that goes.

A bear on his little bike

Mike, Pauly and Deena return from work. Naturally, the boys have to play with their new toy. Ronnie returns from his visit with his Dad around the same time and decides that he has to get on the bike immediately. Pauly compares seeing Ronnie on the mini-motorcycle to seeing a bear on a bike. That is not an inaccurate comparison. The show delivers it’s first LOL moment. I can’t say I’m surprised it came from Pauly. The fact that it involved Ronnie was a bit surprising. It’s nice to see him having fun. Pauly takes a ride on his new toy and hands it over to Vinny. Vinny is wobbling all over the place and, lo and behold, Ronnie is actually laughing!

Jenni is amused and so are we

Downstairs, Snooki decides to call Nick. She gets his voicemail. After calling repeatedly and getting his voicemail each time, she gives up. Frustrated, she heads to discuss the situation with Jwoww who comes up with an interesting theory. Perhaps Gianni, the guy Snooki hooked up with the night before, is friends with Nick. That would be most unfortunate for the pint-sized pickle lover. Jwoww is on the case, though, calling Roger to see if he’s heard from Nick. As it turns out, Nick told Roger he heard Snooki was hooking up with Gianni, who just happens to be the cousin of Nick’s friends. But wait. We’re not done. Nick’s friend is a guy named Jeff – who has also hooked up with Snooki. That’s right. Snooks has hooked up with Nick, Gianni and Jeff. Jeff and Gianni are cousins. That is all kinds of messed up. Now folks, I need you to tell me, are you, or do you know, anyone capable of getting into this sort of messed up situation? Is this just a Jersey Shore thing? Regardless, this is the sort of drama that makes the show interesting. Way to bring it, Snooki!

Vinny vs. the toilet: Part 2

Up until this point, this episode has really been lacking in the Vinny department. Not anymore! Vinny is back tangling with his old nemesis – the clogged Shore house toilet. While I love Vinny’s tenacity and the fact that he is so willing to scrap with someone that is so clearly disgusting, these guys just really need to call a plumber already. Either that, or they need to start showing shots of that toilet because it makes me queasy every time. I can look at a lot of sick stuff but that, my friends is not cool. At all. Poor Vinny.

Snooki isn't pleased with Vinny

Snooki, still smarting from the situation she has gotten herself into, asks Vinny if he wants to bang. Vinny wants nothing to do with her. I’d say that’s sad, but its not entirely surprising. I mean, at this point, she doesn’t have the best track record. There is some definitely trouble brewing between Vinny and Snooki, especially after she gets angry at Vinny for giving her a hard time about hooking up with Gianni. Can these two just start dating already? They’re clearly in love.

Snooki climbs into Vinny's bed. He isn't having it.

The Vinny/Snooki drama continues after everyone returns from the club. Snooki wants to ‘cuddle’ with Vinny but he isn’t interested. He says he cares about he too much to let her ‘smash’ two nights in a row and admits he isn’t okay with sleeping with her the night after someone else did. While it’s ultimately the right decision on Vinny’s part, I can’t help but think Snooki is going to take it quite as well.

Ronnie calls Sam. Yeah. That seems like a great idea.

Oh great. Ronnie’s calling Sammi. I’m so bored of mopey depressed Ronnie and that’s exactly what he’ll be if Sammi comes back to the house. I like seeing Ronnie laughing and having fun. Sammi and Ronnie are toxic for each other – like dogs and chocolate. I’m totally over Sammi and Ronnie. I’m done writing about them to. Next scene please.

Deeni and Snooki make art.

There’s a reason I think Deena was an excellent addition to the show and that reason lies in the marshmallow fight and the decision to stick the marshmallows to everything. Snooki has someone to play with whereas she didn’t before. I love everything about these two. I also love how long it took Mike to notice the marshmallow redecoration the girls did.

Let the prank war begin!

I’ve noticed in the last few episodes, Mike hasn’t been around nearly as much. I wonder what that’s all about.  Anyway, when Deena and Snooki demand the phone when he’s trying to talk to his sister, he’s annoyed and decides the only remedy is to prank them. How? Well, he offers to call them a cab, of course. Instead of telling the cab to take them to Jenkinsons, he tells the cab to take them to Times Square. He also makes sure the driver knows the girls are being ‘surprised’. He not only tells the girls he’s paying for the cab. He also tells them he’ll meet them at Jenkinsons. This should get interesting.

I think Pauly likes the prank

As the prank gets closer to completion, Vinny and Pauly are let in on the joke. Deena and Snooki remain clueless. Mike heads to the cab, makes sure the driver has his instructions and off the girls go. Surprisingly Deena catches on that they’re not headed in the right direction but the driver explains he’s trying to avoid traffic. Well done, sir. Well done.

Leaving without Mike

Back at the house, Mike, Ronnie, Vinny and Pauly decide to hit Ravoli’s for dinner. Surprising to no one, Mike is holding everyone up. He promises to be five minutes, but he’s far longer than that. No one’s happy. He says five more minutes. Ronnie, Pauly and Vinny leave without him. Now that’s a situation.

Wait... where are we going?

Mike really isn’t making any friends in this episode is he? The girls are in the car and only just now – after an hour in the cab – are realizing they’re not going to Jenk’s. They’re telling the cab driver to turn around. Although he was given other instruction, I have to imagine with a screeching Deena and Snooki in the back seat, he’s going to ignore Mike and take the girls home.

Puppy love. Yeah. I made that joke.

Back at the house, Mike is finally dressed and ready to go. Jwoww breaks the news that everyone has already left. Mike’s upset. I can’t really see his reasoning here. He took forever. Mike refuses to accept that he might be to blame for them leaving on him and decides he’s not going to speak to any of them.  He shouldn’t really be that upset. Clearly Jenni’s dog is his new BFF. I think it’s kind of cute actually.

Mike has dinner with the person that loves him more than anyone - himself

Jenni and Mike go to get some food and take her dog with them. When Mike reaching for the horn, he learns one of the dogs isn’t his biggest fan. Mike is just not having a good time of forging relationships. Who else things Mike and Jenni would be kind of cute together, though? Upon returning to the house, Mike sits down to eat his meal all by his lonesome and has a little chit-chat with his ‘house mates’ (himself) while at the restaurant, Vinny, Pauly and Ronnie find the portions at Rivoli’s are a little more than they were expecting.

She's coming back. Wonderful.

Now there’s Sammi. She’s going back to the house. Sammi’s family is telling her to resist Ronnie. Like that’s gonna happen. Sammi insists she’s grown as a person in her time alone. How long has she been alone exactly? Okay, enough Sammi. Moving on once again.

I'm never talking to Mike ever again... for a while.

Snooki and Deena are still on their way to New York. They’re both beyond angry. I can’t even imagine where this is going. They both insist they’re never talking to him again. Will it happen? Probably not. They’re still having fun which is exactly why I love these girls so much.

Was he mad?

The boys arrive home. Mike continues to stew. He’s always been cocky and arrogant. The boys more or less ignore him and he ignores them. Big things are brewing. I can feel the Jersey storm in my bones. The poor guys are all stuffed to the point that they’re ill. Mike wondered outside by himself while Ronnie asks Jenni if Mike’s mad. That seems like a silly question, but I’ll allow it since Ronnie is so pretty. Jenni explains why Mike is upset. I can’t see that making things any better with Ronnie, but Pauly seems to feel bad. Have I mentioned I love Pauly yet? Well, I love him more than I love kittens, and I’m a girl who loves her some kittens.

You expect to buy me back with left overs? They do look good...

Pauly extends the olive branch in the form of left overs. Mike doesn’t seem to except it. He admits he was angry. I’m a little surprised he didn’t try to pretend it didn’t bother him. Meanwhile in the cab, a new plan is hatched. Snooki is angry that Vinny would lie to her and intends to make him sleep with her so he can have her friendship back. I can’t see Vinny going for that.

I don't wanna be your friend anymore!

The girls return to the house shouting what a good time they had. Mike seems confused. If they had a good time, why are they mad? I can understand that confusion, but it was still a pretty dirty (and extremely funny) prank to pull on friends. I feel for Mike. The guy really doesn’t seem to understand that it means to be a friend. At the same time, after busting his balls a bit, he apologizes and says he thought the cab driver would turn around whenever the girls wanted to and the girls admit it was a good prank. They vow revenge. A new prank war? Excellent.

This is Pauly's angry face.

Vinny comes to the bedroom to ask Snooki not to be mad at him. She seems more angry at Vinny than she is at Mike. The logic there is that she clearly expects more from Vinny than Mike. Is that right of her? Who knows. This is Jersey Shore folks. Sometimes there is just no logic involved. Pauly’s apology goes much better but that likely has something to do with the fact it’s very hard to take him seriously when he says he’s angry.

She's baaaaaack.

Everyone’s getting ready to go to Karma and teasing the girls about their adventure. Snooki wants some ‘Ron-Ron Juice’. He says no. There’s a lot of laughing and joking around but little do they no drama is just over the horizon as Sammi is on her way back to the house. Because MTV loves to put spoilers in their coming soon cut aways, we already know Ron is shocked to see her. This is going to be an unpleasant situation. Half of me is just tempted to turn off the TV, but I’m a professional. I can do this. Seriously though, am I the only person that hates Sammi?

There goes Ronnie's smile.

Look at Ron’s face when Sam walks in. He’s happy and smiling and then boom! Sad face. What good can come from her return? None! Everyone else seems happy to see her though for reasons I can’t even begin to comprehend. They all have to know the drama is gonna start all over again now. Can’t wait.

Agree? Disagree? Hate Sammi? Love her? Glad to see her back? Let me know in the comments below!