Jersey Shore Season 03 Episode 11 ‘GTF – Gym, Tan, Find Out Who Sammi Is Texting’

I said I wasn’t going to write about whole Sammi/Ronnie thing anymore, but it’s a little hard to avoid with this one. There were some great moments in Thursday’s Jersey Shore but overall, the Sammi and Ronnie drama ruined it for me. Jersey Shore is at its most entertaining when there’s tones of drama, but Ronnie, Sammi – enough is enough. One, or both, of you need to leave the house. Now. Anyway, let’s get started with our Jersey Shore recap and find out just who Sammi is texting.

Jersey Shore airs Thursdays on MTV.

Does anyone else miss the days of MVP? To me, Mike is starting to look like the proverbial cheese that stands alone. No one in the house really seems to like him anymore. Everyone else is out doing their thing and Mike is left on his own. In this episode, Ronnie does with the girls to get a manicure while Pauly D heads to Staten Island with Vinny to visit Vinny’s family. What does Mike do?

Partners In Crime.

Mike lets Jenni’s dogs – Lean Cuisine and Juicebox – out of their enclosed area so they can pee and poop all over the place. Was it the most mature way to handle it? No, but it was kind of funny. Really with the camera men wouldn’t have felt the need to show each piece of dog poop though. I mean, we know what they were doing. Was it necessary. Despite Deena smelling the dog and noticing Mike’s cologne, he seems to get away with the crime unscathed and no one is the wiser. The true mark of a good prank.

Family Dinner at Vinny's House.

I love Vinny’s family and, clearly, so does Pauly. The food on that table looked incredible. It sincerely made me hungry – really hungry. It was a fun scene and complimented to Mike/dogs story line taking place at the Shore house. It’s weird to see Mike so left out, th0ugh but really – who can blame him. Pauly was his best friend in the house and Mike went after his ex. Still, it would be nice to see MVP back together again.

Snooki and Her Boy for the Night.

Snooki just doesn’t learn, does she. Stop sleeping with random guys you meet at the bar. Vinny likes you but he isn’t going to want anything to do with you if you keep letting strangers ‘get it in’. Come on. You feel and hurt your knee. He put a bandage on it. Is that really all it takes? I love Snooki to pieces, but her antics are really starting to skeeze me out.

Ugh. Here we go again.

The only real other news from the club the night Snooki hooked up with the guy that sort of resembles Pauly was the drama between Ronnie and Sammi. They were drunk. They kissed. I groaned. I always watch Jersey Shore with headphones because my husband loathes it. I threw my headphones and threw up my hands – and nearly my lunch. I’m done with the “sweetest bitch you’ve ever met” because there’s nothing sweet about her. It seemed she and Ron were going to be able to get along. Things were going well and them boom! Ridiculous.

Vinny Is Pasty No More.

Vinny decided he is tired of being teased for being so pale, so he decides to get a spray tan. Am I the only one that was surprised to see how nice Vinny’s body is? I mean, I know he works out but he looks pretty good in his undies. I mean, he’s no Pauly or Ronnie, but he looks hot. It was also amusing to watch him get all tanned up – one of the highlights of the episode for me. That wasn’t the end of the drama though.

Jenni Leaves a Message.

Jenni. Jenni, Jenni, Jenni. What were you thinking? On the way back from tanning, Jenni spots Roger’s car and tries to pull up next to him. Things don’t go well. Jenni becomes convinced, partially thanks to her loving and supportive roommates (sarcasm tags would be useful here) that Roger has a girl in the car with him and is trying to avoid her. Does she wait for an explanation? No. She calls and leaves a message on his voicemail and says she’s “Done for now”. Even her roommates know she overreacted. She finds out later that yes, there was a perfectly reasonable explanation. Roger isn’t happy, but he seems to forgive her. Note for Jenni: Don’t judge the new guy in your life based on the old one. You could lose something good and Roger seems like he is someone you don’t want to lose.

Let the Games Begin!

What possessed Snooki, Sammi and Deena to start a war they clearly had no chance of winning is beyond me, but that’s exactly what they did. I’m glad. The water balloon fight was, by far, my favorite part of the episode. I liked it even more than Vinny’s spray tan. I’ll take fun, lighthearted games on Jersey Shore over drama any day.

The Talk. Really? Again? ENOUGH!

Ronnie!! Back away from the bitch! It’s over. For the love of pancakes, man – save yourself the little bit of dignity you have left, find yourself a girl that’s actually hot and let Sammi run along to be a bitch by herself. It absolutely blows my mind that so many people are on her side. Ronnie was a dog and he did some bad things, but I said it before, and I’ll say it again. Forgiving means actually letting go of the past – not holding on to it and throwing it in the other person’s face whenever they upset you. Sammi gives strong, confident women everywhere a bad name. Anyway, Ronnie and Sam decide to ‘work on things’ – whatever that means. Oh right, it means more of Sammi being a bitch, Ronnie flying into a rage and the rest of their house mates rolling their eyes. I could be wrong though. I thought it was going to be drama as soon as she came back.

Baby Penguin!!

Hey everyone look!  An adorable baby penguin! Can we talk about this little guy instead of the fact that Ronnie and Sam were holding hands while they strolled on the boardwalk so they’re clearly considering getting back together? We can? Excellent! I love penguins. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being butt fugly and 10 being the cutest animal ever) baby penguins rank somewhere around 154 for me. I squealed out loud over this little dude. Nothing else to say about this scene, although I do feel as if I’ll get to use a picture of my cat (ranked 1,982 on the cute scale, in case you were wondering) later on.

Breakout! (OR Snooki the Mime)

Just call Dermatolo-Sitch. When one of her house mates comments about  red splotches on Snooki’s face, Mike comes to the rescue with his skin care products. The result? Snooki the Mime. Snooki has redeemed herself. She may be a little (a lot) trampy, but the girl has a great sense of humor. With the miming shenanigans out of the way, it’s time to get ready for Karma.

Of all the people in the house, Arvin asks Mike about Sammi?

Yup – here comes the drama. Mike runs into his old friend Arvin at Karma and they strike up a conversation. Things take a dramatic turn, though, when Arvin asks where Samantha (Sammi) is. Turns out, Sammi has been texting Arvin about meeting up since she left the Shore house.  So Mike – of all the people in the house – gets this informations, sees the texts and tells everyone in the house except Ronnie and Sammi. Why? He says he doesn’t want to be accused of trying to start trouble. I think he told the girls so they could warn Sammi. It seems pretty fair to me, actually. Naturally, though, Sammi is unwilling to take the blame for her actions and blames Mike. Yeah. It’s Mike’s fault. So over this girl.

Speeze Filter

The time has come to officially apply my Speeze filter because once word got back to Ronnie about Arvin… drama, drama, drama. At one point, Pauly says he will kill himself if he has to put up with Ronnie/Sam round two, but decides to settle in and watch the fireworks go off. I love him but I hate the drama. I also hate the way Ron and Sam seem to think it’s necessary to drag all of their house mates into the mess. Just get out. One of you, both of you, I don’t care anymore. You’re driving everyone crazy. Speeze sticks her tongue out at the whole thing and I echo the sentiment. The end.


What did you think of Thursday’s episode? Would you join the girls or boys in the water balloon war? Aren’t penguins awesome? Stay tuned next week for more Jersey Shore and from the way tonight’s episode ended, a lot more pictures of my cat.