The 10 Best Family Guy Fights Ever

It can be argued that over the last few seasons the quality of Family Guy has started to dip but that’s the case with any series that stays on the air long enough. One thing that the show still gets right every time are the fight scenes. Always weird and always awesome, this is a list of the 10 best Family Guy fights from the series so far. I looked hard for videos but alas was unable to find any decent quality ones. Sometimes a picture can be just as good though. Did I forget your favorite fight scene? Make sure you let me know in the comments section at the end of the article! Enjoy.


10: Cleveland VS. Quagmire

Episode: Season 4 Episode 5 – The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire
Original Air Date: June 12, 2005
When Peter and Brian bust Quagmire having an affair with Cleveland’s wife Loretta, they struggle at first to figure out what to do. Eventually they decide to tell him, prompting Cleveland to confront Loretta, a confrontation that leads Loretta to call Cleveland to the lowest before kicking him out and forcing him to move in with the Griffins. Concerned Cleveland isn’t dealing with his emotions, Lois convinces Peter to help Cleveland get in touch with what he’s feeling. The result? This epic battle between Quagmire and Cleveland – one of my all time favorites.


09: Stewie VS. Brian

Episode: Season 4 Episode 20 – Patriot Games
Original Air Date: January 29, 2006
This fight was absolutely brutal. Poor Brian didn’t stand a chance. The whole thing began when Brian lost a bet with Stewie but didn’t really feel the need to rush to get the money to him, even though in the end, it’s pretty clear Brian had the money the whole time. This whole episode is a classic but the brutal beat down Stewie gives Brian really stole the show.


08: Stewie Vs. Bertram

Episode: Season 3 Episode 11 – Emission Impossible
Original Air Date: November 8, 2001
Like with Brian and Stewie, it was hard to choose a favorite fight between Stewie and his kind of brother Bertram. There have been some incredible ones. From fighting way back in time in season 9’s time traveling episode to a sword fight on the playground, Bertram has been a worthy rival for Stewie. Although I chose to put the first fight between these two battling siblings on the list, any Stewie and Bertram fight could easily take its spot.


07: Quagmire VS. Brian

Episode: Season 8 Episode 18 – Quagmire’s Dad
Original Air Date: May 9, 2010
There was a whole lot of overreacting in this episode. I’ll be honest. This was far from my favorite Family Guy episode mainly because of Brian’s reaction to learning that Ida used to be a man but the rest of it was actually pretty good. The background behind the fight is a little complicated. Quagmire looks up to his father – a decorated war hero – and can’t wait for his Quahog pals to meet him. The visit is going well until Peter informs Quagmire that said decorated war hero is gay, Quagmire angrily confronts him at a military ball. This is where he learns his father is in Quahog to get a sex change operation. Quagmire struggles with what it all means but eventually accepts his father for who he is and things are great. The only problem? Quagmire’s Dad has already met and slept with Quagmire’s least favorite ‘person’ in Quahog – Brian Griffin. Quagmire storms the Griffin household and gives Brian a Stewie style beating.


06: Peter the Pirate VS. The British Man

Episode: Season 6 Episode 12 – Long John Peter
Original Air Date: May 4, 2008
Had it not been for the stiff competition Family Guy offers in this category, this fight would be far, far higher on this list because it was just plain awesome. It was entertaining from start to finish – just like a good Family Guy fight should be. While it isn’t my favorite, it’s definitely up there. Anytime a Family Guy fight puts the action in a familiar setting and puts a fresh twist on it, the result is something memorable and Peter as a pirate fighting the British guy is no exception.


05: Lois VS. Stewie

Episode: Season 6 Episode 5 – Lois Kills Stewie
Original Air Date: November 11, 2007
When Family Guy began, Stewie was a baby bent on world domination who had a bad habit of trying to commit matricide. Over the years, Stewie has mellowed significantly, something that has not been ignored by Family Guy writers. Every now and then, we’re reminded of the Stewie of old and for Family Guy‘s 100th episode the Stewie of old was not only addressed but stood front and center for the episode. First, we saw Stewie finally do what he’d been wanting to do since birth. Yes. Stewie killed Lois or so we thought until the second part of this two part episode when Lois came back with a story to tell. This resulted in an epic battle between Lois in Stewie that ended with Lois killing Stewie. Epic fight even if the whole ending was kind of a cop out.


04: The Griffin Family VS. The Griffin Family

Episode: Season 3 Episode 7 – Lethal Weapons
Original Air Date: June 12, 2005
Now this – this – is what Family Guy fights are all about. It all began with Lois taking self defense classes and learning that, yes, she can kick ass. Naturally, Peter exploits this – at first for money and later to help rid Quahog of the dreaded Leafers. To no one’s surprise at all, Lois’ new found fondness for violence doesn’t go anywhere good and before long, Lois and her family are trying to get a handle on their rage. Of course this ends up with an epic brawl between every member of the Griffin family. Brilliant.


03: Joe VS. Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland

Episode: Season 6 Episode 3 – Believe It or Not, Joe’s Walking On Air
Original Air Date: October 7, 2007
Who would’ve thought Joe getting new legs would cause so much trouble? Oh right – anyone who watches Family Guy. Following a successful leg transplant that gives Joe the ability to walk, he suddenly becomes a much different person – alienating his buddies and even leaving his then pregnant wife, Bonnie. Realizing that Joe is worse off with functioning legs or something less offensive sounding, Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland set out to re-paralyze Joe. It doesn’t go well – for anyone really.


02: Crippletron

Episode: Season 5 Episode 14 – No Meals on Wheels
Original Air Date: March 25, 207
Family Guy has proven time and time again that it is at its best when its at its most absurd. This is the case for the top two fights on this list, but it’s especially true with Crippletron. I mean, come on. Everything about this fight is so over the top and so beyond ridiculous that you can’t help but marvel at the minds that came up with it. This is quite possibly my favorite ever episode of Family Guy (seriously, Peter’s fuzzy feety pajamas make me laugh every freaking time) but the very idea that a bunch of wheelchair bound guys are able to take the shape of Crippletron to take out the people that have wronged them (Peter and his restaurant in this case) is absolutely brilliant in it’s ridiculousness.


01: Herbert VS. Franz *TIE*

Episode: Season 9 Episode 11 – The German Guy
Original Air Date: February 20, 2011
The Old Pedophile VS the Old Nazi. I don’t think I need to say anymore about this one.

01: The Chicken Fight Series *TIE*

I wish so very badly that I would’ve been able to find decent video for these fights but sadly YouTube failed me on this one. I don’t think it really matters with the Chicken Fights though. These things have taken on a life of their own. I considered choosing a favorite to represent the entire lot but I can’t. They really need to be considered as a whole. And to think – the whole thing started way back in Das Boom with an expired coupon for chicken. Terrific. Terrific.