Funny Facebook Status Quotes – Best Quotes

Facebook Status Quotes

Do you always keep your Facebook profile updated? Millions of people today make use of social networking sites like Facebook because they want to stay in touch with their parents, relatives, friends and even colleagues. Hence, we see that most people stay connected to their Facebook profile through their laptops and even through their smartphones. However, the most interesting thing about Facebook is the kind of information and quotes people keep updating. Although, there are users who prefer to use simple lines to let people know their state of mind or whatever they are feeling or experiencing, but there are many people who love to update some Facebook status quotes that would make them the center of attraction.

If you are good at making your own Facebook status quotes you can definitely get some attention from your friends and people who know because they will appreciate and even Like the quote that you have updated on your profile. However, if you are good at making lyrical lines then you have certain websites from where you can get some nice funky and interesting quotes that can get you all the attention you need.

Here are some interesting Facebook status quotes that you can post on your profile.

Best Facebook Status Quotes

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life, no one helps you once you are screwed

It’s easy to play with Love, so easy to fool someone, so easy to make someone cry. But it’s so hard if You’re the one who’s played with, fooled, and the one who Cried..

Don’t chase your dream …… it

I want to make a Facebook account and name it Nobody so that when I like some post, it would say Nobody Likes This.

Facebook is like a jail, you sit around and waste your time, write on the walls and get poked by people you don’t know.

Facebook is the only place where you can talk to the wall.

Women are like police, they have all the evidence in the world against you but they still ask for your confession.

If you don’t remember your password you should keep your password as Incorrect. So when you fail to remember your computer says – your password is incorrect.

I never get jealous of watching my ex with someone else. I remember my mother told me that you should always give away used toys to less fortunate.

Come over MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all your Facebook.

Relationships are like fat people, they hardly work out.

Children in the dark can cause accidents, but usually accidents in the dark can cause more children.

Please tell your pants….its rude to point at others.

Do you think know everything? Well, then tell your mom to rename you as Google.

Facebook is like a fridge. So you keep opening and closing it all the time to see if there is anything good in it.

On the other hand there are various funny Facebook quotes available as well which might be a little naughty to keep the laughter going.

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.” –

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

“Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.

Only one guy is worth your tears, and the guy that is wont make you cry.

A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.

To the world you are one person, but to one person you can be the world.

Love is temporary insanity which can worsen with marriage.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

I have read the evils of drinking and so I gave up reading.

Beer does not make you fat, it makes you lean.

If you have 30 Chocolate bars and you eat 29 of them…what do you get? I think diabetes.

Some men inherit money, some work hard for it and some men are just lawyers.

When a girl says to you that you are cute she is comparing you to her puppy while covering up the real truth.

If love is blind why is lingerie so popular?

Slow and steady wins the race but time waits for no man.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Its just that yours is stupid.

There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.

The road to success is always under construction.

When I die, I want to go to heaven peacefully like my grandpa did in his sleep, not like the others screaming and yelling in the back seat of his car.

If you die in an elevator make sure you press the Up button.

Everybody has a photographic memory, its just that most people don’t have the film.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everybody can see it but only you can feel the warm feeling.

What do you call dogs with no legs? Well, that doesn’t matter because he wont come to you.

My computer beat me in chess, but I won hands down at kickboxing.

Don’t take your life seriously because at the end of it you are going to die.

It is said that the one who laughs the last laughs the best, but I think he who laughs the last didn’t get the joke at all.

Marriage is like insurance, you keep paying all the time but you never get back anything.

Its weird that your birth certificate still remains on the Earth even when you expire.

Men are like bank accounts. Only those with good amount of money generate interest.

Where there is a will there is money.

I wanted to discover something new so I discovered the speed of dark.