What Are 10 Biggest Lessons Learned After Your Divorce to Use?

Does love after divorce exist?

Your life might be divided into two parts which are before and after divorce but still, you should not lose hope of finding love again after a divorce. Even if you have kids, finding love after a divorce with children is the exact thing you will encounter. You never know when you are going to meet your love, so you should always be ready and the best version of yourself. Let’s review the main things you should consider if you want to find love after a divorce.

Things to consider finding love after divorce at 40:

Thing 1. Be able to set boundaries.

The main lesson you might have learned from the previous relationships that did not succeed is the fact that you must set boundaries. It means that no sex before marriage is allowed. No matter how strong the chemistry is, you should not have intimacy with your new partner too early. If you keep having pure relationships, you will be blessed in marriage with this person.

Thing 2. Get healed from your wounds.

Your ex might have done a lot of pain to you. You should not get offended by her because it will destroy you. Instead of that, just try to understand her, forgive, and let go. She might have hurt you, but you should not carry her abuses and evil words for the rest of your life. Just imagine yourself walking in the direction of her and say goodbye to her.

Thing 3. Get rid of fears.

Your ex-wife might have said to you many negative words so that you began to be afraid that you would never meet a good person to create a family with. However, the truth is that you actually can because there are so many fish in the sea. You might find whatever girl you like, if only you were courageous enough. Try to work on yourself and your fears with a psychotherapist and get rid of every single fear of possible failure.

Thing 4. Become the right person.

If you want to meet a perfect person when finding true love after divorce, you should be able to match her. For example, you might write a list of qualities of your ideal bride. If you mention that she must be kind and generous, it means that you are supposed to be rich and wealthy to feed her and fulfill all her desires. Before you meet your ideal bride, you would better become the most appropriate version of yourself. The first thing you might do on this way is going to a barber’s shop and changing your haircut.

Thing 5. Visit public places.

Do not hide in your home and surf the net. Of course, you might find your love even online if you use dating sites. However, you would better not limit yourself by your computer and smartphone, and go out. You might begin by going to the cinema or theater. Note that you may do it even without your friends. You are sure to find an independent single woman there to share your life with. You may also try using public transportation instead of driving your car. Just follow your intuition if you target finding love after divorce in your 40s.

Thing 6. Wait for some time.

It is important to wait to have all things mentioned above done to be ready for a new romance. Sometimes, it might take you even from 4 to 5 years to get completely healed from a divorce which might be compared to surgery without an anesthetic. Slow down even if you think that you found your ideal sweetheart. Do not move on with her until you completely forget your ex.

Thing 7. Throw away all the presents from your ex.

To forget your ex-wife, you would better get rid not only of her abuses but also of material things she gave to you. Together with them, you will throw away your pain, rejection, devastation, and sorrow. If possible, you should remove all the photos with your ex from your eyes and start another page in your life, figuratively speaking.

Thing 8. Accept a new partner the way she is.

If you think you have found the right person, we are glad for you. However, you would better stop comparing her to your ex. Do not either criticize her just because she cannot make pasta the way your ex could. Try to understand that your new partner is a completely different person, so do not humiliate her even if she does something the wrong way.

Thing 9. Find a purpose in your life.

If you are still in search of your new partner, you would better stop your searches and begin to seek the meaning of life. For example, you might find another purpose in your life and begin to help other people who might be in need, poor, or hungry. By doing this, your life will bless you with the best person with a similar kind heart to yours. Searching for a sense of life, you might become a religious person which is not bad but even a big plus.

Thing 10. Believe that you can live, laugh, and love again.

The worst thing the divorce might result in is the absence of faith in yourself. After the shame you have undergone with your ex-partner, you might lose your hope. However, you would better try to look into your mirror and say that you can and you will be happy, no matter what your ex-partner said and did to you. Finding faith in your ability to be happy is one of the essential things you will need to cultivate finding love after a divorce.

Do the first relationships after a divorce last?

Ideally, you should wait for some time after your divorce to make sure all the wounds are healed and all the fears have vanished. However, you might find your destiny even early after your divorce. Therefore, it does not mean that you should miss your chance to create a new family. Just slow down and take some time to become a better and healed version of yourself. Your first relationships after divorce will last then and be grounded on a firm foundation. Note that you should avoid having sex with your new partner until you are ready to propose to her and get married.

Bringing it all together

Even if it did not work with your ex, it does not mean that you do not deserve to be happy and find your love after a divorce. You might register on one of the dating sites for divorced people and start searching for women who are in the same situation as you are. Note that in some cases the process of finding your love might take a long time, but trust us that it is worth it. You might find a new meaning of life and hobby during this period, which is a big plus for you. Also, you should learn to love yourself and your new partner again, keeping in mind the mistakes you made in the past because there are two people who are guilty in the divorce, not just one person.