38 Funny Facebook Statuses – Hilarious facebook Status

Make your friends happy by posting Hilarious facebook Status
Funny Facebook Statuses

Since Facebook first became a popular way for people to keep in touch with each other, one of the features that set it apart from other social networking websites was its status update. It provided people with a way to update all their friends about what they are feeling or doing at almost any point in the day. These statuses update people on news, sports, engagements, deaths, and almost any other thing you can think of. Status updates are a way for people to stay in touch with their friends; so many people feel the need to put up statuses that will receive a lot of attention. One of the best ways most people accomplish this is to put up funny or clever statuses.

Funny Facebook status is a great way to get a lot of attention on the social networking site without having to reveal personal information about you feelings or activities; something many people don’t feel comfortable with. They are also not hard to come up with. They can be funny comments about news events, sports, funny quotes, or just clever twists on things that happen in everyday life. They can even just be general jokes or humor that plays on Facebook statuses themselves. Here are some examples of some different funny Facebook statuses that you can use to brighten your social networking community’s day.

  1. A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
  2. Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
  3. Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
  4. Dear Warner Bros: Now that I’m an adult, I feel I’m old enough to hear what the “Beep Beep” is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
  5. Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
  6. Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road. brunette says “Look, a dead bird.” Blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE, WHERE?”
  7. Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
  8. Scratch here – ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?
  9. Would like to congratulate their parents on having such an awesome daughter-well done!
  10. When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
  11. Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
  12. Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
  13. I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next”.
  14. A murderer was sitting on the electric chair. “Do u have any last requests?” “Yes, will u hold my hand?” XD
  15. Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
  16. Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!
  17. I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
  18. Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you’re in Heaven!
  19. Insert coin to view status message?
  20. When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half!
  21. If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in Jesus name amen”.
  22. Ques: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, .. But Paying the Bill does.
  23. Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know
  24. Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we’ll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. Sincerely, Me
  25. ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – Saket Narayan
  26.  You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status!
  27.  If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
  28. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
  29. I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!
  30. Dear math: I am not a therapist, so solve your own problems.
  31. What do i do when i see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile and when i get tired i put the mirror down
  32. 4 out of 5 urologists smell their apple juice before they drink it.
  33. Girls spend the first 10 years of their lifes playing with barbies. The next 10 years of their lifes they try to look like one. (;
  34. How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freakin turtle??
  35. You can come on Facebook & write on people’s walls here & they are fine with it … but no, if you go to their house & start writing on their walls there they totally get mad & call the cops on you! Um, can someone PLEASE come bail me out of jail?
  36. People say that things happen for a reason. So remember when i hit you upside the head it was for a reason.
  37. If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
  38. Don’t waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?

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